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Balavatharam (Balayya in 10 roles)
Inspired by Dasavataram, Balayya now makes his own movie, Balavatharam.
10 characters are:
Rapist (5 rapes min. daily)
Tagubotu (min. 2 whisky, 3 brandi daily)
Tindipothu (daily 5 eggs, 2 chickens, mutton biryani, Pig dosa)
Patient (sick person, cant do anything, just sleeps in hospital whole day)
Terrorist (Laden's close friend, plans to attack the world)
Maoist (Local naxalite, kidnaps landlords and demands money)
Kojja (Not male or Female, roams in Ameerpet, attacks shops and collects mamool...)
Begger (Roams on Roads, demands for money, like Ali in Pokiri)
Old man (No energy at all, just relaxes on bed 24*7, watching Blue films)
Psycho (veediki mood vachindante evarini em chestado theliyadu mari, dangerous)
Camera: Kalyan Ram
Producer: Bellam Konda Suresh (malli veedni Balayya shoot chestadu)
Director: Hari Krishna
Result: Utter flop
Rapist (5 rapes min. daily)
Tagubotu (min. 2 whisky, 3 brandi daily)
Tindipothu (daily 5 eggs, 2 chickens, mutton biryani, Pig dosa)
Patient (sick person, cant do anything, just sleeps in hospital whole day)
Terrorist (Laden's close friend, plans to attack the world)
Maoist (Local naxalite, kidnaps landlords and demands money)
Kojja (Not male or Female, roams in Ameerpet, attacks shops and collects mamool...)
Begger (Roams on Roads, demands for money, like Ali in Pokiri)
Old man (No energy at all, just relaxes on bed 24*7, watching Blue films)
Psycho (veediki mood vachindante evarini em chestado theliyadu mari, dangerous)
Camera: Kalyan Ram
Producer: Bellam Konda Suresh (malli veedni Balayya shoot chestadu)
Director: Hari Krishna
Result: Utter flop
Balayya, oka software engineer
A software engineer (బాలయ్య) working for free in a company gets frustrated on his job. His boss first said that he will pay him salary after 1 month. But till today, (for 3 months) he has not paid him, and putting a lot of pressure on him. Thus one day, బాలయ్య has decided to attack his boss. He directly went to his office room and threatened him to pay his salary (of just 2,000 /-). The conversation went this way:
Employee (E): Rey... Good morning.
Boss (B): Yes, tell me.
E: Rey... dabbulu iyyara..(Give me money)
B: Aa.. isthanule... (Aa.. i will give)
E: Inka ennallu nenu free ga cheyali raa? (Still how many days, i have to work without salary? )
B: Ok... cool.... ee month neeku salary isthunnanu. (Ok.. cool... i will pay you this month)
E: Rey... last month kooda nuvvu ilage annavu raa.... (Rey... you said the same dialogue last month)
B: ok (with shivering voice)
E: Rey... paisalu theeyi (Rey... take out money)
B: ఒక
E: Rey....
B: ?? (looked at E, cheaply)
Then employee got very angry and started beating up his boss hardly. After 5 minutes, employee said: Rey.... nuvvu naku dabbulu ichhe laga kanipinchatledu... nenu innallu kashtapadi chesina work antha waste kakoodadu. Anduke, nenu inni rojulu pani chesina naa system ni theesukuni pothunnanu. Bye. (Rey.. i hope you can't afford to pay me.. the work i have done for these many days should not go waste... so iam taking my system with me.. Bye.)The employee walks away with his system, while his boss looks helpless.
Employee (E): Rey... Good morning.
Boss (B): Yes, tell me.
E: Rey... dabbulu iyyara..(Give me money)
B: Aa.. isthanule... (Aa.. i will give)
E: Inka ennallu nenu free ga cheyali raa? (Still how many days, i have to work without salary? )
B: Ok... cool.... ee month neeku salary isthunnanu. (Ok.. cool... i will pay you this month)
E: Rey... last month kooda nuvvu ilage annavu raa.... (Rey... you said the same dialogue last month)
B: ok (with shivering voice)
E: Rey... paisalu theeyi (Rey... take out money)
B: ఒక
E: Rey....
B: ?? (looked at E, cheaply)
Then employee got very angry and started beating up his boss hardly. After 5 minutes, employee said: Rey.... nuvvu naku dabbulu ichhe laga kanipinchatledu... nenu innallu kashtapadi chesina work antha waste kakoodadu. Anduke, nenu inni rojulu pani chesina naa system ni theesukuni pothunnanu. Bye. (Rey.. i hope you can't afford to pay me.. the work i have done for these many days should not go waste... so iam taking my system with me.. Bye.)The employee walks away with his system, while his boss looks helpless.
Okka Magadu effect
After watching the climax of the movie, some 50 fans of Balayya got inspired and tried to imitate the scene.They all tried to smash the plane by hijacking the pilot and throwing a bomb inside.They went into plane with a hidden bomb in their mouth and joined the people.After some time, they threatened the pilots and throwed the bomb inside, thinking that they can escape the blast like Balayya in the movie. Unfortunately, the plane blasted and all the 300 passengers in the plane died.
sad boy
After watching Okka Magadu, a school boy thought he is okka magadu.Next day he went to school and saying to all classmates.... "Rey... nenu okka magadu... vayasu okati." Then the principal took him and joined in Nursery. Okka Magadu effect.
Be careful
One father is threatening his child in this way: "Rey.... if you don't do your homework, i will show you okka magadu today.Be careful." A teacher is threatening her students in the class like this: "See students.... if you don't do your homework today, i will just give okka magadu tickets to your parents." Then one student said: "No madam... watching that movie is a big head-ache than doing my homework...I will do it." Okka Magadu effect.
Laden warning !
Osama Bin Laden threatened Bush in this way: "Rey Bush ! If you don't call your troops back from Iraq, i will be sending 1000's of DVDs of Okka Magadu movie to your US market. I will make the movie seen by your citizens. Then they will become mad. This DVD is my latest weapon. Be careful."
Okka Magadu records
With his latest Backburster Okka Magadu, Balakrishna once again proves himself to be the maker and breaker of Box-Office records! The film collected a record share of 25 crores paise in its first week. Overseas record: 23 people saw the film in its first week. Hyderabad record: On its first day,200 of the 212 shows in 53 theatres were reported empty,thus breaking his previous film Maharadhi's record of 100 empty shows on 1st day (In 35+ theatres.)!
He has created a sensation by making his film super duper flop. He broke all the expectations on the film and made producer YVS to suffer fromdebts. YVS lost all his money on investing for this film and now he is in the state of depression to how to get back the money. He agreed to pay Balayya 15 crores ! But up to now, the film collected only 25 crores (paisa).And in the coming days, the film may be disappeared from many theatres.
200 people died in a single theatre by watching Okka Magadu on first day first show.Another 25 people committed suicide after watching Okka Magadu in the first show today.
Devi theatre: 5 people died, Srinivasa: 5 more, Sandhya: 5 more, Ramachandra: 5 more, Prashanth: 5 more....
Flash news
200 died in a single theatre..... (TV9 news )...
Yesterday in the first day first show of movie Okka Magadu, the "Devi" theatre is crowded with hundreds of people in the morning from 5 AM. As soon as the ticket counters opened, the fans of Balayya rushed to get tickets...and 25 people died in the stampede (thokkisalata). After the show began and titles are shown, another 25 people died withheart attack. After watching the introduction scene of Balayya, another 25 people died. After watching the first fight scene of Balayya, another 25 people died.After watching the old Balayya in the film, another 25 people died.After the first half, totally 125 died.In the second half, people are feeling bad that "why we came for this worst ever movie of Balayya.... he is eating our minds... Maa burra pagili pothondi baboi...devuda...kapadu...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".While seeing the climax, another 25 people died. After going home with dull and empty minds, another 50 people committed suicide.So totally 200 people died for just first day first show.Finally some of the Balayya fans formed a group and started thinking seriously to implement a plan for killing Balayya, as he dis-appointed them and killed many of the fans with his worst and over action ever. They talked to TV9 and ETV2 to tell the address or phone no. of Balayya to blast him ! They got his address and started to his home.Balayya saw all this from home on TV9 and for security purpose, he kept a Dobar man dog and a heavy Gun-man at his gate and also reloaded his AK-47 pistol.He saw some people rushing into his gate and for safety, he shooted one person from his bungalow. And he said this dialogue: "Kalchadam modalu pettaka inka evvari mata vinanu......Rey !" Then all people left his house in fear, shouting "Okka Mada... down down...."
Flash....
One big fan of Balayya watched Okka Magadu movie continuously for 4 shows on the single day.After he went to his house, he behaved differently with all the family members and talked some bad dialogues..... the family members took him to the hospital and the doctor tested him and said that "He became a mad person after watching the film 4 times continuously. He went into depression. Only the God can save him".
Audience advice
Before the night show, many audience of Okka Magadu are seen advising the other audience in the theatre, who are waiting to watch the night show.Their advice to the night show-waiting viewers is that:"Sir.... please don't watch this movie in night show. It is extremely dangerous to you.You may get heart attack or you may go into depression.Many fans suffered from these symptoms inside theatre.So watch this night show only if you are brave hearted and if you have guts."After listening to this advice, many audience are deciding to leave theatre, especially old people, children and sensitive people.But some people dared to watch the night show of Okka Magadu and the result is:Another 200 people died in the night show !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God....... save the audience from these Balayya movies !
Flash.......
Balayya is found crrying in his house..after knowing the result.. of his worst film.
Osama Bin Laden watched Okka Magadu and became very angry on Balayya,Because Balayya is a freedom fighter in the film (Musali naa koduku).He is planning to attack Balayya as soon as possible.
Mundu maa iddarni silent ga undamannadu. (First he threatened us to remain silent)
Tharvata vaadi kanti chooputho maa underwear vippadu.(Next with his sharp eyes, he removed our underwears)Tharvata vaadu kooda vaadi cheddi vippi mammalni dengadu. (Next he also removed his underwear and
fucked us !)
Yesterday in the first day first show of movie Okka Magadu, the "Devi" theatre is crowded with hundreds of people in the morning from 5 AM. As soon as the ticket counters opened, the fans of Balayya rushed to get tickets...and 25 people died in the stampede (thokkisalata). After the show began and titles are shown, another 25 people died withheart attack. After watching the introduction scene of Balayya, another 25 people died. After watching the first fight scene of Balayya, another 25 people died.After watching the old Balayya in the film, another 25 people died.After the first half, totally 125 died.In the second half, people are feeling bad that "why we came for this worst ever movie of Balayya.... he is eating our minds... Maa burra pagili pothondi baboi...devuda...kapadu...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".While seeing the climax, another 25 people died. After going home with dull and empty minds, another 50 people committed suicide.So totally 200 people died for just first day first show.Finally some of the Balayya fans formed a group and started thinking seriously to implement a plan for killing Balayya, as he dis-appointed them and killed many of the fans with his worst and over action ever. They talked to TV9 and ETV2 to tell the address or phone no. of Balayya to blast him ! They got his address and started to his home.Balayya saw all this from home on TV9 and for security purpose, he kept a Dobar man dog and a heavy Gun-man at his gate and also reloaded his AK-47 pistol.He saw some people rushing into his gate and for safety, he shooted one person from his bungalow. And he said this dialogue: "Kalchadam modalu pettaka inka evvari mata vinanu......Rey !" Then all people left his house in fear, shouting "Okka Mada... down down...."
Flash....
One big fan of Balayya watched Okka Magadu movie continuously for 4 shows on the single day.After he went to his house, he behaved differently with all the family members and talked some bad dialogues..... the family members took him to the hospital and the doctor tested him and said that "He became a mad person after watching the film 4 times continuously. He went into depression. Only the God can save him".
Audience advice
Before the night show, many audience of Okka Magadu are seen advising the other audience in the theatre, who are waiting to watch the night show.Their advice to the night show-waiting viewers is that:"Sir.... please don't watch this movie in night show. It is extremely dangerous to you.You may get heart attack or you may go into depression.Many fans suffered from these symptoms inside theatre.So watch this night show only if you are brave hearted and if you have guts."After listening to this advice, many audience are deciding to leave theatre, especially old people, children and sensitive people.But some people dared to watch the night show of Okka Magadu and the result is:Another 200 people died in the night show !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh God....... save the audience from these Balayya movies !
Flash.......
Balayya is found crrying in his house..after knowing the result.. of his worst film.
Osama Bin Laden watched Okka Magadu and became very angry on Balayya,Because Balayya is a freedom fighter in the film (Musali naa koduku).He is planning to attack Balayya as soon as possible.
Spoof : Okka Magadu
Balayya (old person) gives the Post Mortam report to the channel members.The report is made to read by them, and they read this:Mundu maa iddarni silent ga undamannadu. (First he threatened us to remain silent)
Tharvata vaadi kanti chooputho maa underwear vippadu.(Next with his sharp eyes, he removed our underwears)Tharvata vaadu kooda vaadi cheddi vippi mammalni dengadu. (Next he also removed his underwear and
fucked us !)
Balista..baalayya.....
Balista..... this is Balayya's new movie after "ITEM". It is about Batista, body building and love affair.
In this movie, Balayya will be very slim in the beginning.He loves a girl in his next house very much.One day, he will propose to that girl and that girl says ..."Hey guy... you are too slim.... you can't fuck me!Please get lost."
Balayya gets hurt very much and first decides to commit suicide.But later he will cancel his suicide attempt and decides to build up his body like Batista.He will eat non-veg, do daily 5 hrs exercises, and also goes to Gym.
Finally, after 3 months, he will become like Batista, with full body.Then he will again propose the same lady.But in these 3 months time, that lady becomes very slim ( like Balayya previously).Then the lady says...."Sorry Balli.... i can't tolerate you now. Better luck in next life."
This time, Balayya will really commit suicide, but the girl saves him and joins him in a hospital. In the hospital, Balayya gets shocked.Because the same girl joins in the hospital for having pregnancy !
In this movie, Balayya will be very slim in the beginning.He loves a girl in his next house very much.One day, he will propose to that girl and that girl says ..."Hey guy... you are too slim.... you can't fuck me!Please get lost."
Balayya gets hurt very much and first decides to commit suicide.But later he will cancel his suicide attempt and decides to build up his body like Batista.He will eat non-veg, do daily 5 hrs exercises, and also goes to Gym.
Finally, after 3 months, he will become like Batista, with full body.Then he will again propose the same lady.But in these 3 months time, that lady becomes very slim ( like Balayya previously).Then the lady says...."Sorry Balli.... i can't tolerate you now. Better luck in next life."
This time, Balayya will really commit suicide, but the girl saves him and joins him in a hospital. In the hospital, Balayya gets shocked.Because the same girl joins in the hospital for having pregnancy !
Balayya's communication skills
Balayya is very poor in communication skills.
A sample example to this.....
He doesn't know how to speak , i would like to share with u all guys , an interview which i had seen few years ago...
After reading this interview, you will understand why the dialogues of Balayya are composed by Paruchuri Bros.
Reporter : "sir mee movies lo music ki importance baga istharanukunta ?"
balayya gadu : "aaa............ avanu mari, mari , na cinemalu narasimhanayudu kaniyandi., samarasimhareddy kaniyandi , anthe kakunda..... anthaka mundu nunchi...... alage maa nanna garu kalam nunchi itu sangeetam kaniyandi atu sahityam kaniyandi.......mari alage guitaru,
tabala kaniyandi...... ila chaala unnayi ...... vaatiki sangeetham pedithe manchi hit avuthundi
kada.... maamooluga aithe Mani sharma tho music chesthuntaru..... mari bagundi kada...
ika audience ki baga nachhali kada ...... aithe nenu music bagunte cinema chesanu.
A cinama aina kooda music lo unna importance choosthanu..... alage cinema choostanu."
this was the reply , no person can expect this kind of an irrelevant , illogical, idiotic reply even from an illiterate person, except balayya gadu.
A sample example to this.....
He doesn't know how to speak , i would like to share with u all guys , an interview which i had seen few years ago...
After reading this interview, you will understand why the dialogues of Balayya are composed by Paruchuri Bros.
Reporter : "sir mee movies lo music ki importance baga istharanukunta ?"
balayya gadu : "aaa............ avanu mari, mari , na cinemalu narasimhanayudu kaniyandi., samarasimhareddy kaniyandi , anthe kakunda..... anthaka mundu nunchi...... alage maa nanna garu kalam nunchi itu sangeetam kaniyandi atu sahityam kaniyandi.......mari alage guitaru,
tabala kaniyandi...... ila chaala unnayi ...... vaatiki sangeetham pedithe manchi hit avuthundi
kada.... maamooluga aithe Mani sharma tho music chesthuntaru..... mari bagundi kada...
ika audience ki baga nachhali kada ...... aithe nenu music bagunte cinema chesanu.
A cinama aina kooda music lo unna importance choosthanu..... alage cinema choostanu."
this was the reply , no person can expect this kind of an irrelevant , illogical, idiotic reply even from an illiterate person, except balayya gadu.
Interview: another candidate...baalayya
Balayya interviews some persons for the post of assistant actor in his film. Interview tooks place in Balayya's home. Balayya will be in a disguise (donga vesham). Candidates don't know this.
Balayya also changes his voice.
(B)----Balayya-(Interviewer)
(C)----Candidate
C: Good morning sir
B: Koorcho... he he
C: Thank you sir
B: Aa............. Nee gurinchi cheppu
C: Iam a B.Sc. graduate, looking for the post of an actor in a film.
B: Sare...Inka cheppu....
C: Iam interested in acting in the films
B: OK..Balayya gurinchi neekem telusu
C: He is my favorite actor, iam a big fan of him.
B: very guddu.... (Removes his disguise)....
C: Aaa.................................Sir !
B: Nuvvu selected....Naa cinemalo chance..... Naa pakkana assistant gaundi nannu support chesthundali.....gas koduthundali.....Oka heroine ni neeku pedathanule.....
C: Thank you sir..... Can i leave.....
B: Agu agu..... Oka 10,000 /- Rs. naa jebulo pettu.
C: Levu sir............
B: Dengai......vere chance choosko...
C: Sir..... please please........
B: OK..Cinemalo act chesina tarvata pay cheyi.
C: Bye sir.......
B: He he.......next !
interview next candidate
(B) Balayya: Nee peru?
(C) Candidate: Balayya
B: Are...Naa peru .... He he
C: Sare....adugu
B: Nee favorite hero evaru?
C: Balayya
B: You are Selected !
C: Thank you. (Balayya removes his disguise....vesham)
C: Aa...................Idi kala nijama ! (Shock)
B: He he..............
Balayya also changes his voice.
(B)----Balayya-(Interviewer)
(C)----Candidate
C: Good morning sir
B: Koorcho... he he
C: Thank you sir
B: Aa............. Nee gurinchi cheppu
C: Iam a B.Sc. graduate, looking for the post of an actor in a film.
B: Sare...Inka cheppu....
C: Iam interested in acting in the films
B: OK..Balayya gurinchi neekem telusu
C: He is my favorite actor, iam a big fan of him.
B: very guddu.... (Removes his disguise)....
C: Aaa.................................Sir !
B: Nuvvu selected....Naa cinemalo chance..... Naa pakkana assistant gaundi nannu support chesthundali.....gas koduthundali.....Oka heroine ni neeku pedathanule.....
C: Thank you sir..... Can i leave.....
B: Agu agu..... Oka 10,000 /- Rs. naa jebulo pettu.
C: Levu sir............
B: Dengai......vere chance choosko...
C: Sir..... please please........
B: OK..Cinemalo act chesina tarvata pay cheyi.
C: Bye sir.......
B: He he.......next !
interview next candidate
(B) Balayya: Nee peru?
(C) Candidate: Balayya
B: Are...Naa peru .... He he
C: Sare....adugu
B: Nee favorite hero evaru?
C: Balayya
B: You are Selected !
C: Thank you. (Balayya removes his disguise....vesham)
C: Aa...................Idi kala nijama ! (Shock)
B: He he..............
Diwali blast.. baalayya
Diwali roju.....
Balayya rocket kalusthunte adi paiki vellakapovatam tho vadu ee dialogue antadu....
Harikrishna sakshiga nenu nandamuri vamsam lo putti vunte ee rocket munduki kadura, venakki pothundi.... Jai Balayya... Jai Balayya... Jai Balayya...
anthe... aa rocket okka sariga paiki poyi, mali kindaki vachi,vadi guddalo
guchukuntundi. Appudu Balayya "Rey.... oorike annanu... enti ila jarigindi ?"
Appudu Harikrishna vachi vadi guddalo ice rod guchuthadu.
CooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL
Balayya rocket kalusthunte adi paiki vellakapovatam tho vadu ee dialogue antadu....
Harikrishna sakshiga nenu nandamuri vamsam lo putti vunte ee rocket munduki kadura, venakki pothundi.... Jai Balayya... Jai Balayya... Jai Balayya...
anthe... aa rocket okka sariga paiki poyi, mali kindaki vachi,vadi guddalo
guchukuntundi. Appudu Balayya "Rey.... oorike annanu... enti ila jarigindi ?"
Appudu Harikrishna vachi vadi guddalo ice rod guchuthadu.
CooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL
Flopu Nayakudu- maa Baalayya baabu..
Flopu Nayakudu- Balakrishna
In Dasaavatharam there is a song praising Kamal Haasan (Loka Nayakuda ...).
If we rewrite the lyrics of the song for Balakrishna it would be like this.
Go make a hit before you die ..... Go make a hit before you die .....
Lokamanduna ninnu missu kaleru
Needu puttuka cine field ke chetu
Flopu naayakuda
Ne vente vundi flopu
Ika neekosam aage Hittu
Natanalo Chetta
Hittulaku kotta
Nee nata hrudayam
Rayaleni kavita
Abhinayasiri ga Adhvanasri ga
Vacchinadu nasaraju
Nini choosi mecchinaadu flopu raju
Flopulu enni yedure aina
Faction matram nuvvidaledu
Chinnanati aa moorkatvaniki
Oxygen thecchinavu
Tvarlone sanka nakipotavu
Naarayanudi Dasaavathaaram
Natanalo needi flopavataaram
Cinemaalu teesi
Prajalanu himsincchi
Maneeshi kalevu
Gnanamlo sardar nu minchinaaavu
Vittulalone Vrukshalu edugu
Nee vokkadi to flopulu yedugu
Viswa vinta ga yedigina Natuda
Nee sari neevele
Yeppatiki nee sari neevele
Flopu naayakuda..............Flopu naayakuda..............Flopu naayakuda..............
baalayya baabu edinaa cheyagaladu.. chesi choopisthaadu...
1. balayya makes onions cry
2. balayya can delete the Recycle Bin.
3. Ghosts are actually caused by balayya killing people faster than Death can
process them.
4. balayya can build a snowman..... out of rain.
5. balayya can strangle you with a cordless phone.
6. balayya can drown a fish.
7. When balayya enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
8. When balayya looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between balayya and balayya.
9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. balayya can throw Brett Favre even further.
10. The last digit of pi is balayya. He is the end of all things.
11.balayya does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
12. Bullets dodge balayya.
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to balayya and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
14.balayya' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools balayya
15. If you spell balayya wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean balayya? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
16. balayya can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
17. Once a cobra bit balayya' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
18. When balayya gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
19.balayya can kill two stones with one bird.
20 balayya was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. balayya can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
22. There is no such thing as global warming. balayya was cold, so he turned the sun up.
23.balayya can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
24. balayya has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.
25. It takes balayya 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
balayya once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objectsbalayya could use to kill you, including the room itself.
27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is balayya.
28.balayya destroyed the periodic table, because balayya only recognizes the element of surprise.
29. balayya got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
30. With the rising cost of gasoline,balayya is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
31. The square root of balayya is pain. Do not try to square balayya, the result is death.
32. When you say "no one's perfect", balayya takes this as a personal insult."
hmmm...choosaaara baalayya power..........
2. balayya can delete the Recycle Bin.
3. Ghosts are actually caused by balayya killing people faster than Death can
process them.
4. balayya can build a snowman..... out of rain.
5. balayya can strangle you with a cordless phone.
6. balayya can drown a fish.
7. When balayya enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
8. When balayya looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between balayya and balayya.
9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. balayya can throw Brett Favre even further.
10. The last digit of pi is balayya. He is the end of all things.
11.balayya does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
12. Bullets dodge balayya.
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to balayya and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
14.balayya' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools balayya
15. If you spell balayya wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean balayya? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
16. balayya can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
17. Once a cobra bit balayya' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
18. When balayya gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
19.balayya can kill two stones with one bird.
20 balayya was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. balayya can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
22. There is no such thing as global warming. balayya was cold, so he turned the sun up.
23.balayya can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
24. balayya has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.
25. It takes balayya 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
balayya once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objectsbalayya could use to kill you, including the room itself.
27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is balayya.
28.balayya destroyed the periodic table, because balayya only recognizes the element of surprise.
29. balayya got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
30. With the rising cost of gasoline,balayya is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
31. The square root of balayya is pain. Do not try to square balayya, the result is death.
32. When you say "no one's perfect", balayya takes this as a personal insult."
hmmm...choosaaara baalayya power..........
Conversation between Balayya with his fans......
The last conversation in “Bommarillu” between Prakash Raj and Siddharatha is replaced by Balayya and Balayya fans….
veerabadra-still2.jpgBalayya fans: Balayya Babu meeru 30 yrs ninchi gelichanu anukuntunaaru, kaani mimalni
gelipinchadaniki memu 30 yrs ninchi oodipotune unnam
An extension… ..
Balayya: Naku 5Crores remuneration vachinappudu kuda sontosham ledu kani na fans na movies ne adaristaru ani gurtochinappu chala santhosha paddanu.
Balayya Fans: Meru cinema tesesanani anukunataru bagane undi, kani aa cinema nachaledu ani chairs viraga kotti screen chimpi mari cheppalani anipistundi kani emi cheyyaleni nissahaya paristiti.....
Balayya: eyebrows raised …
Balayya Fans: Thidutunnaru sir, banda bootulu tidutunnaru Balayya movie ki velutunnante navvu tunnaru sir……
Balayya: Meku nachina Faction movies istunnanani anukunna gani mimmalni inthaga himsistunnanani anukoledu … ..
Balayya Fans: Miku teliyatla sir meru teesina movies nachaka, chudakunda vundaleka narakam chustunnamu sir…
baalayya jokes...very funnyyy....
balayya Pirates of the Caribbean
balayya in hollywood planning to remake " Pirates of the Caribbean" in telugu.............
DHOOM 4 in Telugu Starring Bala Krishna
Wanna see Bala Krishna's Bike Ride in his next
movie - Dhoom 4?
Just scroll through below text step by step ...
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Balayya is chasing villians despite running low on fuel.
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Finally bike ran out of Petrol. Tank
is empty and balayya got to Chase them
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Come on BALAYYA. Show us your talent
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Hilarious conversation between Balayya and Aishwarya Rai
Nandamuri Bala Krishna (balayya) desperately wanted to rope in the
India's sizzling hot actess Aishwarya Rai in his next movie - Ambika
Productions or whatever. So he called up Aish. This is how the
conversation happened--
balayya: Hello Aishwarya jee, I am balakrishna
Aish: WHO???
balayya: It is me Aish jee, late N.T Rama Rao son. You
don't know me?
Aish: Which one? I heard he's got almost a dozen of
them.
balayya: Even I don't remeber which one. Do you read news
papers?
Aish: Yes, I do. why?
balayya: I did shooting last year and it came in all newspapers. It was
shown in TV also
Aish: Oh... So you just started
balayya: ababa nee yabba. No Aish jee. I mean not film shooting. Gun
shooting.
Aish: What???? You shot someone?
balayya: Yes. I shot the producer and one more guy. but i shot in the back
seat. So no death happened. You don't worry. I don't shoot heroines
Aish: You shot someone and You still doing films? How come?
Aren't u supposed to be in Jail?
balayya: hahahaha. kya Aish jee. tum bhi. I said I have mental.
but in real I dont have mental. I just acted. very big action.
It is in our family.
Aish: What is that in your family? Mental????
balayya: No Aish jee. Action is in our family. in our blood.
Aish: oh!
balayya: And they really belived i am mental. hahaha
Aish: You bet. I have already started to believe it.
balayya: what?
Aish: Nothing. You go ahead
balayya: I want u act with me as heroine in my new film.
Aish: Let me see
balayya: You go to
www.smileyindia.blogspot.com
and see my pics. I am dancing
with katarnak kaif.
Aish: Yeah. I am there. What do I have to look for?
balayya: I don't know. I don't know internet. My director showed me on
his computer
Aish: Oh! Ok I will find myself. By the way it's katrina kaif
not katarnak kaif: But I call ker kathi. It is easy for me.
Aish: You look very short. How tall are u?
balayya: 5'5"
Aish: What?? I am 5'9"
balayya: So what? I wear very high heel shoes. always u dont wear shoes.
Problem solve. You acted in one movie with salman no?
Aish: Yeah but he has a great body and u r a fat azz with a big tummy
balayya: That no problem. I never do in-shirt. Always shirt outside only
Aish: Was that a wig u wearing in the pics?
balayya: Yes. I have hair. But not enough for films you know.
But don't worry. I have hair all over my body except on head.
Aish: In all my previous movies i ran my fingers through hero's hair? I
can't do that to u right?
balayya: No problem. You can do with my chest hair. that way it is romantic
also. My fans like my romance very much.
Aish: Ok. I wanna know u better. tell me about your last film
balayya: Oh. It is a movie called vijayendra varma. Power of Indian.
in that I made lot of actions. u shud see that film. i fight with
i don't know Hindi no? so i speak telugu with them. they understood.
but public did not understand. that’s why it became flop. i wanted to
shoot producer gain but already one case was going on no?
Aish: u spoke in telugu with Pakistanis? wow! why you
talking to me in English?
balayya: you very beautiful gal no? that’s why. so when u coming
my film?
Aish: whattttt? do u think i am crazy to do a film
with you?
balayya: why? how much money u want? my producer will pay any
much u want otherwise i will shoot him no?
Aish: these days telugu songs are being played in channel V and MTV.
what would my friends think about me if they see me dancing with you?
balayya: pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
Aish: shut up and go shoot urself.
Jackie Chan VS Balayya
Our Tollywood shooting star BalaKrishna his fan call him as Balayya is going to America.He travelling in a flight and happens to get a seat beside Jackie Chan . but Balayya doesnt know
that he isJackie Chan. their conversation goes like this
- Balayya: hello. (smiles and shakes his head)
Jackie Chan: hi, how do u do
Balayya: great. i am returning from Pandurangadu shooting in U.S
Jackie Chan: really ? cool. i am an actor myself
Balayya: i am a great actor
Jackie Chan: says who
Balayya: myself
Jackie Chan: (blank face) Good for you. they say i am a good actor too. i won a couple oscars also
Balayya: i won a couple vamsee berkeley awards
Jackie Chan: i can see that
Balayya: my father was greatest actor in the world
Jackie Chan: (surprised) dont tell me you are paul newman s only son
Balayya: i am tenth son of NTR
Jackie Chan: who is NTR
Balayya: he is the greatest actor in the world
Jackie Chan: wow and all these days i was wondering if that would be paul newman or Marlon
Brando. can you name a movie of your father s ?
Balayya: superman
Jackie Chan: now you confuse me. i thought christopher reeves was superman
Balayya: acting is in my blood
Jackie Chan: interesting. i have haemoglobin in my blood
Balayya: my father was a great actor
Jackie Chan: youve said that before
Balayya: ok. theres not much more to talk for me
Jackie Chan: i would love to see some of your work
Balayya: (pulls a DVD out of his bag) here watch this
Jackie Chan: what is it
Balayya: its my latest movie seema simham .. which means lion of the area
Jackie Chan: interesting. After seeing the DVD for five minutes
Jackie Chan: (turning towards air hostess) can i be moved to a different seat please
Balayya: (smiles and shakes head)
After conversation with Balayya he moved to a another
seat in the same flight and it happens to be a next seat
of Jr.NTR. EVen Jr.Ntr doesn t that his Jackie Chan
Their conversation goes like this:
Jackie Chan: I couldn t believe that guy was saying his father NTR was the greatest actor in the world.
Jr.NTR: Nandamuri Taraka Rama RAo, NTR, is the greatest actor in the world and my babai (uncle) is next to him
Jackie Chan (with a surprise): Who are you?
Jr.NTR: I am the true successor of the great legend NTR.
Jackie Chan : Anyway, who are you???
Jr.NTR: NTR is my tata garu: it means his my grand father. He is always with me even though he is in the heaven. MY babai....
Jackie Chan: (cuts his conversation and says) Oh God, are you also an actor?
Jr.NTR: Yes, Even though my babai doesn t talk to me his blessing are always with me. His movies are inspired me. My babi and my tata ..
Jackie Chan: (again ineterrupts his talk and he doesn t want to talk anymore about movies and he wants to shift the conversation to something else)
Jackie Chan: ARe you married?
Jr.NTR: NO, but, I fell in love with the beautiful girl in the world.
Jackie Chan with a surprise looks) dont tell me you are in love with Kournikova
Jr.NTR: No, I am in love with sameera
Jackie Chan: Who is she?
JR.NTR : you dont know her (surprise in his face). She is pretty, I cannot explain it you. But, I promised my mom and to the industry people that I never propose her to marry me.
Jackie Chan: Why?
Jr.NTR: They think it spoils my carrer.
Jackie Chan: Dont say that Holly wood industry said to you like that
Jr.NTR: NO Tollywood industry. My tata and my babai are responsible for raising of tollywood industry to this level. MY babai acted in two great movies. He really inspired me......
Jackie Chan ( angry, frustrated and cuts his bajana and asks): what is your name?
Jr.NTR: NTR, my mother put this name because my tata and my babai......
Jackie Chan is so confused and ready to get down of that flight at next stop because the next
available empty seat is besides no other than Mr.Nandamuri kalyanram.........
This is not a competition. It is on rakhi day where the guy avoids girls so that they cannot be made thier brothers.
Zail Singh on Park
Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids playing nearby decided to pull his leg. Walking up to him they asked him, "Sir are you relaxing?" Zail singh replied, "No, I am Zail Singh!" The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This terribly confused Zail Singh and he decided to check it out. He walked up to a guy who was relaxing on a bench near him and asked, "Are you relaxing?" The man replied, "Yes, why do you ask?" Zail Singh answered with satisfaction, "Then those kids are probably looking for you!"
The Soldier
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the Pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The Pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The Pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the Pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya" Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho mosquito repellent laga ke gaya tha"!
Answering Machine
A sardarji once took an answering machine home in Punjab and disconnected it within a couple of days because he was getting complaints from his relatives like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ki ghar pe nahin hai"
Last Coach
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, next day in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was"There should not be last coach in any train.""
Long Journey
A Surd was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When the train reached Delhi, the Surd's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire. The Surd replied that
his doctor had advised him against taking long journeys
Bad Temper
Two men involved in an angry argument. One was burly Sardarji; other a frail Bania. Sardarji who was getting the worst of the argument lost his temper and slapped the Bania. "Did you hit me in anger or did you do it in mazaak (jest)? demanded the Bania.Of course I slapped you in anger, roared the Sardarji. That's all right, replied the Bania, "because I don't like
to be made mazaak (fun) of."
Yes / No Questions
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within
half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour. "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."
.........................................................................................................
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
***********************************************
Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
***********************************************
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
***********************************************
Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
***********************************************
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
***********************************************
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
***********************************************
Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
***********************************************
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
***********************************************
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
***********************************************
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
***********************************************
A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . He replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read:
AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE.
MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
***********************************************
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
***********************************************
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
***********************************************
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
***********************************************
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
***********************************************
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
***********************************************
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said 'April fool. I have pass'.
***********************************************
Sardar joined a new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked 'what you did till evening'.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
***********************************************
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, but tell me from landline or mobile.
***********************************************
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
***********************************************
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
***********************************************
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
***********************************************
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
***********************************************
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
***********************************************
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
***********************************************
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
***********************************************
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
***********************************************
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is All India Radio!
***********************************************
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was a child
Software Jokes
| Great Writer There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his He successed in realizing his dream. He now works for Microsoft,......... writing error messages. |
| Top 20 Replies by Programmers when their programs do not work 20. "That's weird..." 19. "It's never done that before." 18. "It worked yesterday." 17. "How is that possible?" 16. "It must be a hardware problem." 15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?" 14. "There is something wrong in your data." 13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!" 12. "You must have the wrong version." 11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence." 10. "I can't test everything!" 9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT." 8. "It works, but I havn't been tested." 7. "Somebody must have changed my code." 6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?" 3. "Why do you want to do it that way?" 2. "Where were you when the program blew up?" And the Number One reply : 1. "It works on my machine." |
| Life v/s Keyboard !
|
| TECH CENTER'S AGONY: My condolences to call center guys!! Call center jobs: People wonder why they get paid so much.... for just being on the phone. Take a look: Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?" Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?" Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?" Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?" |
| The Consultant A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver,a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,.......... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says,......... "You have exactly 1586 sheep". "That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal ?" "OK, why not" answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. "That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give me back my dog". |
| Project Manager Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are in Ft. Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek, they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says, "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish." The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back after lunch," replied the project manager. |
| Marry A Software Engineer Or Not Husband - Hai Dear,I Am Logged In. Wife - Would You Like To Have Some Snacks Wife - Have You Brought The Saree. Wife - But I Told You About It In Morning Wife - Hae Bhagwan ! Forget It Where's Your Salary. Wife - Atleast Give Me Your Credit Card, I Can Do Some Shopping. Wife - I Made A Mistake In Marrying You. Wife - You Are Useless. Wife - Who Was There With You In The Car This Morning ? Wife - What Is My Value In Your Life? Wife - Do You Love Me Or Your Computer? Wife - I Will Go To My Dads House. Wife - I Will Leave You For Ever. Wife - It Is Worthless Talking To You. Wife - I Am Going |
Some dialgoues from SoftSimhaReddy....
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చిరంజీవి నీవు చిరంజీవిగా వర్ధిల్లు గాక ...
నాకెంతో ఇష్టమయిన చిరంజీవి సినిమాల గురించి రాద్దామనుకుంటున్నా ఇవాళ. అసలు ఇప్పుడంటే చిరంజీవి ఇలా చీపయిపోయాడు కానీ వయసులో ఉన్నప్పుడు వైవిధ్యభరితమయిన సినిమాలు చేసినప్పుడూ, ప్రతీ సినిమాలోనూ కొత్తదనం చూపించాలనుకున్నప్పుడూ మా బాగా ఉండేవాడు.
అందుకే నాకభిమాన నటుడయ్యాడు. చిరంజీవి సినిమాలంటే పడి చచ్చేవాడిని. ఆ వేష భాషలను అనుకరించాలని ప్రయత్నించేవాడిని చిన్నప్పుడు. కొంత పెద్దయ్యాక చిరంజీవి డాన్సు చూసిన ప్రతీ సారీ ఫ్లాటయిపోయేవాడిని. ఎన్నో సార్లు చేద్దామని బొక్క బోర్లా పడ్డాను కూడా. ఆ స్టెప్పులు భలే మజాగా ఉండేవి. డిస్కో, బ్రేక్ మొదలయినవి అద్భుతంగా చేసేవాడు.
అలాగని కమర్షియల్ మూసలోనే కాకుండా వైవిధ్యభరితమయిన చంటబ్బాయి, రుద్రవీణ, ఆపధ్భాంధవుడు మొదలయిన సినిమాలలో నటించాడు. కొండవీటి దొంగ, కొదమ సింహం, లంకేశ్వరుడు, రుద్రనేత్ర, మరణ మృదంగం, స్టేట్ రౌడీ, అత్తకు యముడు అమ్మాయికి మొగుడు, రౌడీ అల్లుడు, ఖైదీ నంబర్ 786, గాంగ్ లీడర్, స్వయంకృషి, దొంగ మొగుడు, మగ మహారాజు, ఛాలెంజ్, పసివాడి ప్రాణం, రాజా విక్రమార్క, బావగారు బాగున్నారా, ఠాగూర్, శంకర్ దాదా MBBS, ఇంద్ర అబ్బో చెప్పుకుంటే ఎంత వైవిధ్యభరితమయిన నటనా చరిత్ర ఉంది చిరంజీవికి. అలాంటి సత్తా ఉన్న వ్యక్తి టాలెంటు ఇప్పుడు వేస్టవుతుందే అని కొద్దిగా (చాలా) బాధగా కూడా ఉంటుంది నాకు. కానీ ఏం చేస్తాం. విధి రాత.
ఇక నేనిప్పుడు ఆయన సినిమాలలో నా ఛాయిస్ అయిన వాటి గురించి మాట్లాడతా:
చిరంజీవి నట జీవితంలో ప్రత్యేకమయిన ప్రస్తావన తేవలసిన సినిమాలు ఉన్నాయంటే నాకయితే రెండు స్వయంకృషి, రుద్రవీణ. మిగతా సినిమాలెన్నో నచ్చినవి నాకున్నా ఇవి మాత్రం ఎంతో ప్రత్యేకం. నా హృదయానికి దగ్గరగా ఉంటాయి ఎప్పటికీ. అసలు వీటిని ఎన్ని సార్లు చూసానో నాకే తెలీదు.
స్వయంకృషి:
ఈ సినిమా గురించి తలచుకుంటేనే నాకు ఒళ్ళు పులకరిస్తుంది. అద్భుతమయిన కథ/కథనం, అంతకన్నా అద్భుతమయిన నటులు కలిస్తే ఈ సినిమా. కె విశ్వనాథ్ గారి దర్శకత్వంలో తయారయిన మణిపూస ఇది. ఈ సినిమాలో ఎన్నో హైలైట్లు. మొదటిది కృషితో నాస్తి దుర్భిక్షం. చెప్పులు కుట్టే చిరంజీవి స్వయంకృషితో పైకొస్తాడు. ఎదురు దెబ్బలు తగిలినా ఎంతో ఎత్తుకు ఎదుగుతాడు. సినిమా అక్కడితో ఆగితే ఇందులో గొప్పతనం ఉండేది కాదు ఎందుకంటే ఆ తరువాత జరిగే సంఘటనలే ఈ సినిమాకు ప్రాణం. ఎంతో అల్లారు ముద్దుగా పెంచుకున్న పిల్లవాడు చెడు దారిన పడతాడు ఐశ్వర్యం తో. ఆ పిల్లాడిని తిరిగి ఎలా దారికి తెచ్చుకోవాలని ప్రయత్నిస్తాడో, ఆ దారిలో నచ్చచెప్పడం, భయపెట్టడం, బుజ్జగించడం, ప్రేమించడం అన్నీ ఆకట్టుకుంటాయి.
చిరంజీవి ఎంత ఎత్తుకు ఎదిగినా ఒదిగి ఉండాలి అనే సూత్రం పాటిస్తాడు. మనం "పెద్ద" అయినంత మాత్రాన సరిపోదు మన మనసు కూడా పెద్దదవాలి అని కథ చెబుతుంది. చెడు వైపుకి లొంగడం, క్షణిక సుఖాల కోసం మొగ్గడం సులభం. కానీ కృషి వల్ల వచ్చే సంతోషం దాని వల్ల రాదు అని ఎంత చక్కగా చెబుతుందో ఈ సినిమా. నేను నమ్మే సూత్రాలకు చాలా దగ్గరగా ఉంటుంది ఈ సినిమా. ఓ మనిషిని అతని హోదాతోనో, అతని డబ్బుతోనో, పదవితోనో, పేరుతోనో అంచనా వెయ్యకూడదు. కృషి, పట్టుదల ముందు అన్నీ దిగదుడుపే.
ఈ సినిమాలో "సిగ్గూ పూబంతి" పాట నాకు ఇష్టమయినది.
రుద్రవీణ:
కె బాలచందర్ గారి దర్శకత్వంలో వచ్చిన ఇంకో వజ్రం ఈ సినిమా. నటనకి ఎంతో ఆస్కారం ఉన్న ఎన్నో పాత్రలు ఈ సినిమా సొంతం. అలాంటి పాత్రలలో ఎప్పటీకీ గుర్తుండిపోయే పాత్రలో చిరంజీవి నటన అద్భుతం. ఇందులో ఎన్నో అంశాలు స్పృశిస్తాడు దర్శకుడు. సంగీతం అనేది కొందరికి చెందినదిగానే మిగిలిపోకూడదు అందరికీ చెందినప్పుడే దాని గొప్పతనం అనీ, అంటరానితనం / ఉన్నత కులం, నీచ కులం అనే అసమానత రూపుమాపాలనీ, తాగుడుకి బానిస కాకూడదనీ ఈ సినిమాలో చూపిస్తాడు దర్శకుడు.
చిరంజీవి నటన ఈ సినిమాని ఎక్కడికో తీసుకెళుతుంది. సూర్యం పాత్రలో ఒదిగిపోయి అసమాన నటనా ప్రావీణ్యంతో ఎన్నో భావాలు ఒలికిస్తాడు చిరంజీవి. అలాగే బిళహరి పాత్రలో సూర్యం నాన్నగా నటించిన పాత్ర కూడా ఎంతో అద్భుతమయిన పాత్ర. తన తండ్రి బిళహరి గణపతి శాస్త్రి కి పూర్తి వ్యతిరేకం సూర్యం పాత్ర. వారిద్దరి మధ్య జరిగే ఘర్షణ హైలైటు.
ఈ సినిమాలో "కదలిరాద తనే వసంతం..." నాకెంతో ఇష్టమయిన పాట. అలాగే "రండి రండి దయచేయండి..." పాట కూడా చాలా బాగుంటుంది. (పెంటమ్మ ఘట్టం గుర్తుందా అందరికీ ?)
చంటబ్బాయి:
హీరోయిజం ఉన్న చిరంజీవితో డాన్సులు, ఫైట్లు మాత్రమే కాకుండా కామెడీ చేయించిన వినూత్న చిత్రం ఇది. దీంట్లో చిరంజీవి కి ఉన్న కామెడీ టైమింగ్ స్పష్టమవుతుంది. (తన నటనలో ఉపయోగించుకోవలసినంతగా ఉపయోగించుకోలేదని నా విమర్శ). అసలు సినిమా అంతా నవ్విస్తూనే ఉంటుంది. జంధ్యాల గారి చేతిలో రూపు దిద్దుకున్న హాస్య గుళిక ఇది. "పాండ్ జేంస్ పాండ్" గా చిరంజీవి "పాండు" కారెక్టర్ తెగ నవ్విస్తుంది. అదీనూ చిరంజీవి ని చావబాదే కారెక్టర్లో అల్లు అరవింద్... హహహ.. నవ్వుల పండగే.
ఈ సినిమాలో "అట్లాంటి ఇట్లాంటి హీరోని కాను నేను..." పాట హిలేరియస్...
ఛాలెంజ్:
యండమూరి నవలల ఆధారంగా రూపొందించిన చిరంజీవి సినిమాల్లో ఇదొకటి. నిరుద్యోగుల మీద ప్రాక్టికల్ జోకు ప్లే చేసిన రావు గోపాల్ రావు తో చిరంజీవి యాభై లక్షలు సాధిస్తానని చాలెంజ్ చేసి గెలుస్తాడు. కథ పాతదే అయినా బాగుంటుంది.
ఆఖరి సీనులో చిరంజీవి "రామ్మోహనరావు నేనే గెలిచాను..." అరుపు నాకెప్పుడూ గుర్తుంటుంది.
ఇక మోడర్న్ సమయానికి వస్తే
జగదేక వీరుడు అతిలోక సుందరి:
అప్పటికే మెగాస్టార్ స్టేటస్ ఉన్న చిరంజీవికి జనాలలో ఇంకా ఎంతో క్రేజ్ పెంచిన సినిమా ఇది. ఫాంటసీ తో రూపొందిన ఈ సినిమాలో చిరంజీవి, శ్రీదేవి నటన అబ్బో. ఇంద్రుడి కుమార్తె అయిన శ్రీదేవి తన అంగుళీయకం భూలోకంలో పోగొట్టుకోవడం, అది మానవుడయిన చిరంజీవి కి దొరకడం, ఆ అంగుళీకాన్ని చిరంజీవి నుండి వెనక్కి తీసుకురావడం కోసం శ్రీదేవి తంటాలు బహు బాగు ఈ సినిమా. మానవా అంటూ చిరంజీవి ని సంబోధిస్తున్న శ్రీదేవి సంభాషణలు భలే ఉంటాయి.
ఈ సినిమాలో నాకు నచ్చిన పాట "అబ్బ నీ తియ్యని దెబ్బ..." ;)
movie spcl
- _-_-_-_-_-_-_Rajni Spl_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Basha: Okka subjct chadivithe anni subjcts chadivinatlu..!!
Narasimha: athiga Chadive aadadi..athiga Copy kotte mogadu Sukhapadinatlu charithralo ledu..
Baba: Chadivindi Gorantha.. Chadvaalsindi Kondantha..!!
Sivaji: Nanna pandule epudu chaduvuthaayi.. Simhaalu.xam roje chaduvuthaayi..!!
Arunachalam: Aa lecturer bodhistaadu..ee arunachalam vini vadilestaadu..!!
Muthu: Nuvu chadavanidi xam lo raakunda podu.. chadivindi ennatiki xam lo gurthuku raadu - Chiru Cinema ki Frnds toh vellu..
Pawan cinema ki Lover toh vellu..
Nag Cinema ki GF/BF toh vellu..
Venki Cinema ki Family toh vellu..
Mahesh Cinema ki Case toh vellu..
BUt..................
But..............................
But......
ballaya cinema ki maathram... INTLO CHEPPI VELLU...
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