Saturday, November 29, 2008

baalayya jokes...very funnyyy....

balayya Pirates of the Caribbean

balayya in hollywood planning to remake " Pirates of the Caribbean" in telugu.............


DHOOM 4 in Telugu Starring Bala Krishna


Wanna see Bala Krishna's Bike Ride in his next

movie - Dhoom 4?
Just scroll through below text step by step ...

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Balayya is chasing villians despite running low on fuel.

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Finally bike ran out of Petrol. Tank

is empty and balayya got to Chase them

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Come on BALAYYA. Show us your talent

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_______________________________________________________________

Hilarious conversation between Balayya and Aishwarya Rai
Nandamuri Bala Krishna (balayya) desperately wanted to rope in the
India's sizzling hot actess Aishwarya Rai in his next movie - Ambika
Productions or whatever. So he called up Aish. This is how the
conversation happened--

balayya: Hello Aishwarya jee, I am balakrishna

Aish: WHO???

balayya: It is me Aish jee, late N.T Rama Rao son. You
don't know me?

Aish: Which one? I heard he's got almost a dozen of
them.

balayya: Even I don't remeber which one. Do you read news
papers?

Aish: Yes, I do. why?

balayya: I did shooting last year and it came in all newspapers. It was
shown in TV also

Aish: Oh... So you just started ur career?

balayya: ababa nee yabba. No Aish jee. I mean not film shooting. Gun
shooting.

Aish: What???? You shot someone?

balayya: Yes. I shot the producer and one more guy. but i shot in the back
seat. So no death happened. You don't worry. I don't shoot heroines

Aish: You shot someone and You still doing films? How come?
Aren't u supposed to be in Jail?

balayya: hahahaha. kya Aish jee. tum bhi. I said I have mental.
but in real I dont have mental. I just acted. very big action.
It is in our family.

Aish: What is that in your family? Mental????

balayya: No Aish jee. Action is in our family. in our blood.

Aish: oh!

balayya: And they really belived i am mental. hahaha

Aish: You bet. I have already started to believe it.

balayya: what?

Aish: Nothing. You go ahead

balayya: I want u act with me as heroine in my new film.

Aish: Let me see ur pic? where can i see it?

balayya: You go to

www.smileyindia.blogspot.com

and see my pics. I am dancing
with katarnak kaif.

Aish: Yeah. I am there. What do I have to look for?

balayya: I don't know. I don't know internet. My director showed me on
his computer

Aish: Oh! Ok I will find myself. By the way it's katrina kaif
not katarnak kaif: But I call ker kathi. It is easy for me.

Aish: You look very short. How tall are u?

balayya: 5'5"

Aish: What?? I am 5'9"

balayya: So what? I wear very high heel shoes. always u dont wear shoes.
Problem solve. You acted in one movie with salman no?

Aish: Yeah but he has a great body and u r a fat azz with a big tummy

balayya: That no problem. I never do in-shirt. Always shirt outside only

Aish: Was that a wig u wearing in the pics?

balayya: Yes. I have hair. But not enough for films you know.
But don't worry. I have hair all over my body except on head.

Aish: In all my previous movies i ran my fingers through hero's hair? I
can't do that to u right?

balayya: No problem. You can do with my chest hair. that way it is romantic
also. My fans like my romance very much.

Aish: Ok. I wanna know u better. tell me about your last film

balayya: Oh. It is a movie called vijayendra varma. Power of Indian.
in that I made lot of actions. u shud see that film. i fight with Pakistan.
i don't know Hindi no? so i speak telugu with them. they understood.
but public did not understand. that’s why it became flop. i wanted to
shoot producer gain but already one case was going on no?

Aish: u spoke in telugu with Pakistanis? wow! why you
talking to me in English?

balayya: you very beautiful gal no? that’s why. so when u coming Hyderabad for
my film?

Aish: whattttt? do u think i am crazy to do a film
with you?

balayya: why? how much money u want? my producer will pay any
much u want otherwise i will shoot him no?

Aish: these days telugu songs are being played in channel V and MTV.
what would my friends think about me if they see me dancing with you?

balayya: pleaseeeeeeeeeeee

Aish: shut up and go shoot urself.


Jackie Chan VS Balayya


Our Tollywood shooting star BalaKrishna his fan call him as Balayya is going to America.He travelling in a flight and happens to get a seat beside Jackie Chan . but Balayya doesnt know
that he isJackie Chan. their conversation goes like this

- Balayya: hello. (smiles and shakes his head)

Jackie Chan
: hi, how do u do

Balayya: great. i am returning from Pandurangadu shooting in U.S
Jackie Chan: really ? cool. i am an actor myself

Balayya: i am a great actor

Jackie Chan: says who

Balayya: myself

Jackie Chan: (blank face) Good for you. they say i am a good actor too. i won a couple oscars also

Balayya: i won a couple vamsee berkeley awards
Jackie Chan: i can see that

Balayya: my father was greatest actor in the world

Jackie Chan: (surprised) dont tell me you are paul newman s only son

Balayya: i am tenth son of NTR

Jackie Chan: who is NTR

Balayya: he is the greatest actor in the world

Jackie Chan: wow and all these days i was wondering if that would be paul newman or Marlon
Brando. can you name a movie of your father s ?

Balayya: superman

Jackie Chan: now you confuse me. i thought christopher reeves was superman
Balayya: acting is in my blood

Jackie Chan: interesting. i have haemoglobin in my blood

Balayya: my father was a great actor

Jackie Chan: youve said that before

Balayya: ok. theres not much more to talk for me

Jackie Chan: i would love to see some of your work

Balayya: (pulls a DVD out of his bag) here watch this

Jackie Chan: what is it

Balayya: its my latest movie seema simham .. which means lion of the area

Jackie Chan: interesting. After seeing the DVD for five minutes

Jackie Chan: (turning towards air hostess) can i be moved to a different seat please

Balayya: (smiles and shakes head)

After conversation with Balayya he moved to a another
seat in the same flight and it happens to be a next seat
of Jr.NTR. EVen Jr.Ntr doesn t that his Jackie Chan
Their conversation goes like this:
Jackie Chan: I couldn t believe that guy was saying his father NTR was the greatest actor in the world.
Jr.NTR: Nandamuri Taraka Rama RAo, NTR, is the greatest actor in the world and my babai (uncle) is next to him
Jackie Chan (with a surprise): Who are you?

Jr.NTR: I am the true successor of the great legend NTR.
Jackie Chan : Anyway, who are you???

Jr.NTR: NTR is my tata garu: it means his my grand father. He is always with me even though he is in the heaven. MY babai....

Jackie Chan: (cuts his conversation and says) Oh God, are you also an actor?

Jr.NTR: Yes, Even though my babai doesn t talk to me his blessing are always with me. His movies are inspired me. My babi and my tata ..

Jackie Chan: (again ineterrupts his talk and he doesn t want to talk anymore about movies and he wants to shift the conversation to something else)

Jackie Chan: ARe you married?

Jr.NTR: NO, but, I fell in love with the beautiful girl in the world.

Jackie Chan with a surprise looks) dont tell me you are in love with Kournikova

Jr.NTR: No, I am in love with sameera

Jackie Chan: Who is she?

JR.NTR : you dont know her (surprise in his face). She is pretty, I cannot explain it you. But, I promised my mom and to the industry people that I never propose her to marry me.

Jackie Chan: Why?

Jr.NTR: They think it spoils my carrer.

Jackie Chan: Dont say that Holly wood industry said to you like that

Jr.NTR: NO Tollywood industry. My tata and my babai are responsible for raising of tollywood industry to this level. MY babai acted in two great movies. He really inspired me......

Jackie Chan ( angry, frustrated and cuts his bajana and asks): what is your name?

Jr.NTR: NTR, my mother put this name because my tata and my babai......

Jackie Chan is so confused and ready to get down of that flight at next stop because the next

available empty seat is besides no other than Mr.Nandamuri kalyanram.........


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