Zail Singh on Park

Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids playing nearby decided to pull his leg. Walking up to him they asked him, "Sir are you relaxing?" Zail singh replied, "No, I am Zail Singh!" The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This terribly confused Zail Singh and he decided to check it out. He walked up to a guy who was relaxing on a bench near him and asked, "Are you relaxing?" The man replied, "Yes, why do you ask?" Zail Singh answered with satisfaction, "Then those kids are probably looking for you!"

The Soldier
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the Pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The Pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The Pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the Pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya" Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho mosquito repellent laga ke gaya tha"!

Answering Machine
A sardarji once took an answering machine home in Punjab and disconnected it within a couple of days because he was getting complaints from his relatives like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ki ghar pe nahin hai"

Last Coach
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, next day in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was"There should not be last coach in any train.""

Long Journey
A Surd was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When the train reached Delhi, the Surd's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire. The Surd replied that
his doctor had advised him against taking long journeys

Bad Temper
Two men involved in an angry argument. One was burly Sardarji; other a frail Bania. Sardarji who was getting the worst of the argument lost his temper and slapped the Bania. "Did you hit me in anger or did you do it in mazaak (jest)? demanded the Bania.Of course I slapped you in anger, roared the Sardarji. That's all right, replied the Bania, "because I don't like
to be made mazaak (fun) of."

Yes / No Questions
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within
half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour. "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."

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Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
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Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
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2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . He replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read:
AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE.
MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
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2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
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Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said 'April fool. I have pass'.
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Sardar joined a new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked 'what you did till evening'.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, but tell me from landline or mobile.
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Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
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Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
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In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
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Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is All India Radio!
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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was a child